I survived... I guess...

 So... the oral exam, defense of my project and thesis... are officially behind me. I survived, though the experience was as usual, rather stresful one. The main problem was of course my motivation level - I didn't feel like studying for that exam at all. It happens to me from time to time - when I feel there's no need to work too hard, I don't - it usually means that exam is not going to be that difficult... and then, a few hours before the actual exam, I get frequent panic attacks, I can't remember my name and my sis is calling me an idiot (just as frequently). I don't know why it works like that...
 Anyway. I had to get up at ungodly 6:15 am to get to B-stok before 9 am. We left (with mom; she thinks I'm still 5) around 7 am, and arrived just in time for me to go the dean's office to get some documents and to find out where this hellish exam is taking place. It turned out that they're going to "execute" me next door, so I barely made it through the door again. I took a seat and studied hard the history of popular culture in the US.
 Then rest of people from my seminar group came (meaning two people), making me feel a bit better, but then we started discussing when JFK was killed, and then we all got even more confused and stressed. The fact that I was the first one to enter the room did not make me feel any better. I was actually dumb enough to greet my promoter and the 'controller of quality' with "good morning", while the other English teacher (who is like 58), I greeted with "hello" making everybody stare at me as if I was insane. I don't think it is possible for me to attend any social event without embarrassing myself in some new, creative way...
 They called me inside before I was mentally ready. I forgot like 90% of words, couldn't remember what SAC stands for, and talked as if I may die without producing silly sentences... The most difficult question was: why do you think students will be interested in T.S. Eliot poetry? and what's your favourite poem by him?
 I was torn between "The Waste Land" and "A Dedication to My Wife"... but then I decided that I don't really want to explain to three men I don't know that well what "Of lovers whose bodies smell of each other" line of that second poem does to me... (which reminds me of that odd dream in which I woke up next to T. S. Eliot sitting in my bed, under my blanket and reading a newspaper... good thing there was no Ezra Pound on the other side, it would be a metaphysical nightmare - come to think of it, the most meaningful relationships in my life are with dead people... a bit morbid, if you ask me...). 
  There were no questions from the list of topics I was supposed to prepare a brief speech about, and then learn these little speeches by heart... I was a bit disappointed, but then again, I know more about "The Waste Land" than about the gun culture in the US.
 I left the room and waited next to the door for my results. The worst three minutes of my life. When they invited me back I could barely made it inside on my own, and I was shaking as if it was -30*C rather than +30*C. 
 I got three top marks: for my project and thesis, for the exam and the final grade which will be on my diploma XD Oh how I wished for a bottle of Absinthe back then... I'd have drank it as if there was no tomorrow - and to think I was so stressed, silly me.

 Now I have BA in English, MA in Law, time for a PhD... though I'm not sure if I want to date one or to get one myself XD My friend speculates it's the first option I'm thinking about... well, we were inseparable at our uni, The Mocking Duo, so she may know better ;) Unfortunately, she won't be continuing her MA studies here. She's moving out to Italy... I'm both sad and happy - for her obviously, though I will miss her. She was so adorable in her oftentimes unintentional offending of our teachers XD


 I'm still jobless, I also share the internet connection with my sister, which means I'm not as often online as I'd have liked..., and I'm helping dad in his office. I brought him a spare PC there along with my beloved printer, but it seems like dad has no interest in learning how to use it, so I'm writing everything for him. I think he likes the fact he's "the boss" and I'm doing whole work for him :P
 Tomorrow I'm going to see if there is any job for me in our tiny employment office. I already sent a few job applications, but there was no response. I start to think that this MA in Law is not really helping; I remember how no one would write to me at PenPals while I included "law graduate" in my description, once I removed it, people started writing to me like crazy (particularly men who are Christians, speak little in English and want to marry me...) - maybe I should remove it from the list of my educational achievements?
 I think that if I don't find anything here or in my university city, I'll have a short break from studies and go abroad. I'm willing to suffer as an au pair as long as it's close to Prague (but then I'd most certainly become Absinthe Addict)... so maybe London instead... or York... or Leeds (actually that was stupid, these two are rather close to each other - less coffee, more sleeping).. or Stratford upon Avon... even the Lake District... anywhere in the UK is good - after all, I have three guidebooks and "London AZ" (Rabbit couldn't resist buying it for me as birthday present - obviously too much of BBC Sherlock, both of us) -- ok, just rambling here, because for some reason I'm pretty sure that if I find myself in London this year, I'll also find RA and AR as my neighbours and I will have a nice harem with them ;)
 I need social life... or just... I don't know, I was supposed to be reading "Paradise Lost"... but it seems to be indeed lost... on me.